Oh what an awesome and amazing journey it has been with you the past 7 weeks. You have been very supportive in providing feedback and sharing your thoughts with me as I delve deeper into my own life concerning authenticity. I wanted to reveal to you what Hiding Behind my Glasses means and why this journey has been critical to my personal development.
Hiding Behind My Glasses...
One day sitting in my life coach's office we were of course discussing things that include how I can be an effective leader. During that discussion she pointed out my glasses that I show off in my blog post each week. She looks at me and says very directly, "Tell me what's going on with these glasses.....I mean I know that they are really cool and you like them because they are retro but what are you hiding behind them?" I just smiled as only I could. I then said, "Wow!" I could immediately see why she'd ask me that question. I felt it. I knew it deep inside that I don't share my genuine authentic self with the world. I don't share the REAL REAL Sharhonda at all times. I mentioned to her as I have to you in previous post that I have safely guarded myself behind a Berlin wall and I didn't realize at the time that I was hiding from people who may need me, I was putting a plug on my own development, and I was not able to fully live out my purpose because I was hiding. My coach then says, "I want you to start a blog". I want you to call it, Hiding Behind My Glasses. She gave me the hashtag to! I wish I could take the credit for such a great eye catching name but I can't. Precious Bivings is the amazing woman who poured into me and pulled out of me what was needed in order to make this possible. She is a great instrument of the divine!
So Yes Authentic's I had to get real about why I was hiding critical pieces of myself from the world. That realization was eye opening but more than that I felt free and beautiful when she explained why this blog was important. It's important because what you have gotten from me each week has been Sharhonda. The words I write I look over, I publish. I go back and edit again. I re-read it to see how smoothly it flows. It's like honey and milk to me. It's like sweet and smooth at the same time. I re-read it to feel again the magic I felt when the words flowed from my mind down the slopes of my arms through my fingers and onto the grand canvas that is this blog you read today!
Hiding Behind my Glasses was a launch to the real me. I wasn't a fake before as in beinHoweverying, mean, or malicious. However, I was inauthentic in that I protected myself from you so I didn't give my all. I didn't release all of me and it was so I would be accepted by you. I am realizing now that with glasses on or off I am Sharhonda. I am her expressing herself through large retro glasses. It's a bold statement! I am also the less animated but strikingly curious, beautiful gem that is without glasses. I am fierce with them on and off! I am love with them on or off! I don't have to hid behind anything.
When she said that I was hiding behind my glasses, spiritually I knew that I was keeping secret pieces of me that were safe to show to the world. My glasses were prescription so I had to wear them but they were a statement that sole loudly, "see me", even though I'm not showing anyone my complete self! How do yo do that? How can we cry for attention and then reject it at the same time? We can. I don't think I realized how much I was rejecting my own self. My own authentic self. How dare I kill off the part of me that is genuine and in love with my creator therefore in love with life. My authentic self doesn't care. She looks at the world through different eyes. Sometimes very different than my peers. I feel alone in that often but while writing this blog I realized that I am not alone and I realized that I liked me. I am not sure about everyone else yet but that's okay. What matters is that I'm loved by me. I think everything else will fall into place. I can now see why people do like me. I didn't understand that before. I didn't have a clear view of what made me special. I see her clearer now. I needed this journey to authenticity. I needed to understand that I can make a bold statement and in that statement allow people to see me without hiding behind it. I'm fierce!
I have enjoyed this journey. I had my ups and downs as I've shared with you. My health has been a constant issue for the last year. However in that the universe still had something for me to learn. God still had a truth nugget in there for me to get. It's been one of the harder things for me to grasp but I'm still working on it. I have to accept things I can't change. UGHGHH LOL I am embracing each day though. I'm praying each day. I'm listening each day to the spirit of God. I know he allows me to move through each day with grace and mercy.
Authentic's I have two more weeks with you so let's make them count! Let's be authentic on purpose! Let's be about this authentic life! Let's rock the heck out of it! Let's not be apologetic about it and long after this blog is gone stay committed! Our lives depend on it!
I am a better woman.
I'm grateful for that.
I'm living it everyday.
I'm grateful for the awareness.
I'm grateful I get it!
I'm grateful to have been able to share the experience of growth with you.
I look forward to the next two weeks we have left. I'll bring more revelation to you concerning what walking authentically feels like and what that looks like. It may touch someone. It may not but what it has done for me is incredible!
Until next week my loves!
#Beauthentic
#JourneytoAuthenticity
#BeBold
#Hidingbehindmyglasses
#LetsBeGreat
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