Week One: Being Intentional #JourneytoAuthenticity

Greetings Authentic's!

How are you?
I've been super excited about the feedback from you beautiful people! I have appreciated the compliments as well as the insight you have shared. Continue to share your thoughts with me. Lets continue to discuss this thing on our journey to authenticity! 

My weekend has been eventful having been around my nieces and watching them play. It's amazing how it seems that kids never tire! The party goes on forever in their heads! Lol 

I wanted to be intentional about what I post during this next 9 weeks with you and no better way to start off than by creating a theme for each week. So this week we'll be discussing ways in which being intentional and being authentic relate. It seems like a good start to me because being authentic takes intention.

Behind my glasses.... 

Each and everyday for the last few years of my life I have worked on being a better person. I have done it because I didn't want my past to define me. What I just said is significant because I had a desire. How many of you have looked to the heavens, wished upon a star, hoping that the idea clicks? .....that what you need one day makes sense in your head so that you get your desired outcome? I like to call it reaching for the stars. Desire isn't enough and I've been a-reaching and a-reaching while having the infectious pus of my past seeping through into my present.
I've been working throughout my life to not allow myself to be this broken, molested, abandoned, and rejected child. #GettingNaked I knew this child very well. I carried her in my heart to every event, every social setting, and she even laid down in the bed with me at night. I welcomed her in, hugging her, and loving her the best I knew how. Before my journey to healing I rejected her like others had because I couldn't find a way to come to terms with her story. I couldn't bare look at this child in the mirror and ultimately it meant I couldn't look at me. 

Don't feel sorry for me Authentic's. That's just a part of my story. It's a part of what made me the strong woman I am today. I chose to Get Naked this way to help someone in their journey to authenticity! So,What does it have to do with being intentional? When I was in that stage of life I started getting books, talking to counselors, and laying on the altar of the church crying my heart out trying to overcome my past. I wanted to clean out the clogged parts of my life, and I wanted it desperately! Something was missing though, I didn't have a clear outcome in mind. I wasn't specific about what I wanted to accomplish by seeing a counselor. I wasn't specific about what I wanted to be the recipient of after laying prostate in the presence of God. At times I had no idea what I wanted. I just wasn't sure. .. and other times I wanted freedom, I wanted to no longer hurt, and I wanted to not be the broken girl. The question then becomes what does that look like for me? What does not being broken look like? How do I get there? What are the steps? 

What I've learned is that I had a passion, a strong desire, and the will to get my life right. I hadn't completely understood how to get it done. I'd done work don't get me wrong but it wasn't totally intentional.

I remember reading what I called "The Bible". It was a book full of stories of women who'd been raped or molested. This book, The Courage to Heal, is phenomenal. I was committed to it because it understood me. What I realized though is that this book identified for me what I had been feeling all along as a victim. I related to the women of the book and their journeys to healing. However this book only soothed my pain. It didn't wipe away the tears that turned into boiling springs of anger. It didn't take away the negative feelings I'd grown accustomed to. It only validated me. It told me I was feeling normal as a victim. It didn't tell me how to no longer be a victim. It didn't give me any other identity. I didn't know what I wanted to look like after reading the book either.

What in particular do I need? How do I get what I need? What is the goal that I'm trying to reach and what tools do I need to get there? These are questions i hadn't yet explored. I thought self-help books were clearing the infection. I was wrong. It was like neosporin. It was an aid but not one designed for the depths of my wounds. I continued with massaging the pain with prayers to God for emotional healing. That consisted of crying my eyeballs out!!! It was relief for a minute. Only a minute..... 

What I know now is that in order for me to be authentic, I have to be intentional. Being authentic leads to being your best self. Being intentional allowed me to release behaviors that I only performed because I was trying to cover up the broken person I was. I wasn't showing forth my talents, gifts, love, loyalty, etc because I was in hiding. Being intentional cleared the path for me to be authentic! I hope this makes sense to you Authentic's. I have to be intentional. Specific. Clear. I have to do those things to be authentic.
Share with me what sticks out for you in this piece. Share with me something that's covered you from being your most true, loving, beautiful self. Share with me how you feel about this post. Ask questions as well I'll address them in the next blog post.

Until Tomorrow....

#HidingBehindMyGlasses

#JourneytoAuthenticity

#ImHiding

#YouInspireMe

#GettingNaked