Week 8 & 9: A Letter To Myself. #GETLIKEME #authenticlife #journetytoauthenticity #loveyourself #naturalauthenticlife

It's the final week Authentic's!

It's the final week of my nine week blog, Hiding Behind My Glasses. I'm sad to say goodbye! I'm thrilled though, to communicate to all who joined this journey with me, how this experience has been a game changer! I have gotten my natural authentic life! I wanted to end this by writing a letter to myself, and ultimately to those of us in the world who hide behind anything physical or otherwise. I want to apologize, forgive, and liberate the authentic me before my readers in hopes that you to may find the courage to do the same. Dare to be IN LOVE with the being you are!

Hiding Behind My Glasses...
Dear Sharhonda,
Your name means love, among other great things. Isn't it crazy that the very thing we deny ourselves lies within us. In this instance it's in your name. You were destined to return back to love. I'm thankful God orchestrated it to be so! I want to apologize to you, to me, for hiding. For snuffing out our light, for looking to others when all along we were the love that we needed. You and I, as ONE, were enough and I didn't know it. Thank God you, my spirit sister, did! I've learned that our spirit, because it's connected to the divine knows all. I'm glad that we connected! Sharhonda I honor you, and I forgive me. I love the parts of me that were broken, shaken, damaged, pulled apart. I love me. I love me because that's what I needed. Love heals all things. I know better now that all of those things that occurred in my life aren't reflections of who I am. It had nothing to do with me. I always was Sharhonda, and always will be. I've learned that what people do to me doesn't define who I am. I have learned that I grow through adversity. I positively evolve! The toughest times in my life have been turned into positive energy that is used toward my good. I'm eternally grateful for grasping that. I love me. I love me because it's the antidote I needed all of this time. I pledge to continuing learning how to love me so that in all ways I can show up authentic. YESSSSSS!!!!

Thank You.
Thank You Sharhonda for doing the work! Thank you for being! I'm Honored to be me. I'm thrilled outside my black and pink heart socks that I've learned to love Sharhonda!!!!! *Insert Fireworks*



Authentic's take a moment and rejoice for liberation! Liberation from messy minds and stinking thinking! I have came along this journey with several realizations. One of them is that I see the world through different lenses. We are all snow flakes and each of us have our own design. In the end we are all snowflakes. Individually-collective, if that makes sense. I'm never on an island, because I'm in this world with so many who's spirit I connect to. I'm also unique and alone because my experience is my own. I honor that. I welcome and embrace that. Because it's me. It's who I am.
I have grown to love my laugh.. my story isn't this sorrowful and shameful story anymore..it's now this story of courage, triumph, and success. I can see my resilience, my effort, my fight. I can see the greatness that is Sharhonda. Lord I denied myself my truth and my grace for so long!How about that! My task, and yours now is to keep the momentum going. Remind ourselves daily that we are loved. We are loved. We are loved.

I listened to Mary J. Blige and Jada Pinkett Smith on the radio a few days ago. They were discussing how women get married and expect their husbands to love them in areas they don't even love themselves. Jada mentioned how she's screaming out, love me...pay attention to me.. and she realized it was coming from a place of need for her to love and know herself. I could so relate. I would ask and cry and yearn for love...thinking my life partner wasn't delivering. The shame I must have heaped on his head telling him that he wasn't meeting my needs. I craved affection. I'm keeping it real y'all. I'm a kissy face person. Very affectionate! My kids get kisses and hugs daily. :)  I also now know that I didn't love myself. I had hid myself not only from the world but from myself. I didn't love me. Now that I'm out of the closet so to speak, now that I'm no longer hiding, I am so in love with who Sharhonda is! She's awesome sauce! I dig the chic that I am. YESSS!!! Like my spirit is cutting cartwheels! ( I have to add here that there's something about knowing yourself and loving who you are. People can't step to you or effect you the way they used to.) I want to say GET LIKE ME lol it's rap lyrics that come to mind when I celebrate! Authentic's don't be like me but get like me, get this authentic life! Be you, in your being, the way you were absolutely created to be. Don't you apologize for it either. That means don't be sorry for being who you are, you can't change that when its true, healthy, and loving. Don't dare apologize for being quirky, laughing loud, singing to every song on the radio, or wearing blue lipstick if that's you! Don't apologize, just BE. Be inspiration for someone else to get their natural authentic life too!

I was used to living a life hiding. Having lived in the shadows for so long I have a few habits to break. It's no overnight trip. It's a journey my dear loves and I'm practicing everyday!

In Conclusion:
Authtentic's I don't have a lot left to say... If anything I end this series with this.

I am who I am and who I am is who I love because who I am is authentic. YESSSSS!!!

Get into the business of loving you Authentic's!!!!
And show yourself off sometime don't worry about the people. When you like you, the right people will like you to! Everybody else doesn't matter. <3

God bless my loves.

Week 7: The Revelation #JourneytoAuthenticity #HidingBehindMyGlasses #

Good Morning Authentic's!

Oh what an awesome and amazing journey it has been with you the past 7 weeks. You have been very supportive in providing feedback and sharing your thoughts with me as I delve deeper into my own life concerning authenticity. I wanted to reveal to you what Hiding Behind my Glasses means and why this journey has been critical to my personal development.

Hiding Behind My Glasses...
One day sitting in my life coach's office we were of course discussing things that include how I can be an effective leader. During that discussion she pointed out my glasses that I show off in my blog post each week. She looks at me and says very directly, "Tell me what's going on with these glasses.....I mean I know that they are really cool and you like them because they are retro but what are you hiding behind them?" I just smiled as only I could. I then said, "Wow!" I could immediately see why she'd ask me that question. I felt it. I knew it deep inside that I don't share my genuine authentic self with the world. I don't share the REAL REAL Sharhonda at all times. I mentioned to her as I have to you in previous post that I have safely guarded myself behind a Berlin wall and I didn't realize at the time that I was hiding from people who may need me, I was putting a plug on my own development, and I was not able to fully live out my purpose because I was hiding. My coach then says, "I want you to start a blog". I want you to call it, Hiding Behind My Glasses. She gave me the hashtag to! I wish I could take the credit for such a great eye catching name but I can't. Precious Bivings is the amazing woman who poured into me and pulled out of me what was needed in order to make this possible. She is a great instrument of the divine!

So Yes Authentic's I had to get real about why I was hiding critical pieces of myself from the world. That realization was eye opening but more than that I felt free and beautiful when she explained why this blog was important. It's important because what you have gotten from me each week has been Sharhonda. The words I write I look over, I publish. I go back and edit again. I re-read it to see how smoothly it flows. It's like honey and milk to me. It's like sweet and smooth at the same time. I re-read it to feel again the magic I felt when the words flowed from my mind down the slopes of my arms through my fingers and onto the grand canvas that is this blog you read today!

Hiding Behind my Glasses was a launch to the real me. I wasn't a fake before as in beinHoweverying, mean, or malicious. However, I was inauthentic in that I protected myself from you so I didn't give my all. I didn't release all of me and it was so I would be accepted by you. I am realizing now that with glasses on or off I am Sharhonda. I am her expressing herself through large retro glasses. It's a bold statement! I am also the less animated but strikingly curious, beautiful gem that is without glasses. I am fierce with them on and off! I am love with them on or off! I don't have to hid behind anything.

When she said that I was hiding behind my glasses, spiritually I knew that I was keeping secret pieces of me that were safe to show to the world. My glasses were prescription so I had to wear them but they were a statement that sole loudly, "see me", even though I'm not showing anyone my complete self! How do yo do that? How can we cry for attention and then reject it at the same time? We can. I don't think I realized how much I was rejecting my own self. My own authentic self. How dare I kill off the part of me that is genuine and in love with my creator therefore in love with life. My authentic self doesn't care. She looks at the world through different eyes. Sometimes very different than my peers. I feel alone in that often but while writing this blog I realized that I am not alone and I realized that I liked me. I am not sure about everyone else yet but that's okay. What matters is that I'm loved by me. I think everything else will fall into place. I can now see why people do like me. I didn't understand that before. I didn't have a clear view of what made me special. I see her clearer now. I needed this journey to authenticity. I needed to understand that I can make a bold statement and in that statement allow people to see me without hiding behind it. I'm fierce!

I have enjoyed this journey. I had my ups and downs as I've shared with you. My health has been a constant issue for the last year. However in that the universe still had something for me to learn. God still had a truth nugget in there for me to get. It's been one of the harder things for me to grasp but I'm still working on it. I have to accept things I can't change. UGHGHH LOL I am embracing each day though. I'm praying each day. I'm listening each day to the spirit of God. I know he allows me to move through each day with grace and mercy.

Authentic's I have two more weeks with you so let's make them count! Let's be authentic on purpose! Let's be about this authentic life! Let's rock the heck out of it! Let's not be apologetic about it and long after this blog is gone stay committed! Our lives depend on it!
I am a better woman.
I'm grateful for that.
I'm living it everyday.
I'm grateful for the awareness.
I'm grateful I get it!
I'm grateful to have been able to share the experience of growth with you.

I look forward to the next two weeks we have left. I'll bring more revelation to you concerning what walking authentically feels like and what that looks like. It may touch someone. It may not but what it has done for me is incredible!

Until next week my loves! 

#Beauthentic

#JourneytoAuthenticity

#BeBold

#Hidingbehindmyglasses

#LetsBeGreat

Do you love you?

Hello gorgeous authentically made people!

I wanted to briefly check in and share a few thoughts about authentically loving yourself.

Behind my glasses.......
I've mentioned in previous blogs how I can be hard on myself. I understand that for many of us were can over analyze and examine ourselves over and over again. We will constantly look over the same problem picking apart every detail to see how much of a screw up we are!

I would like to purpose something to you my dear readers. I would like for those of us who hate on ourselves to begin to practice self love.
When you make a mistake, of course take responsibility for it, but also apply love instead of  criticism.

Think if your child brings in a bad grade on a test she prepared for. Would you then say to her,"gosh, you're so stupid"? Or would you kindly talk with her, administering a firm but caring attitude?
Authentic's we will compliment a stranger, go to bat for person we don't know, before we administer that compassion toward ourselves.

This post is brief I know.... I want us all to look within. Let's discover what we are saying to ourselves when we make wing choices, or when we're forgetful, out when we work past a deadline. Are we cruel and condemning ourselves? If so I challenge you to begin to stop poisoning yourself any further.

Let's administer love to ourselves!

Until next time gorgeous people.....
#hidingbehindmyglasses
#lovethyself
#journeytoauthenticity

Week 6: Be Patient with YOU! #journeytoauthenticity #bepatient #hidingbehindmyglasses #youhavethepower #goatyourownpace

Beautiful day here in South Carolina Authentic's!

I have missed writing. I have not been feeling my best so I needed to take some time off. My mind just doesn't flow very well when I'm enduring sick days. I'm still learning health management in that area. I hope you are forgiving my loves!

So this week I wanted to discuss being authentic through your process. What does it mean to connect with yourself, and be true to yourself while you go through healing of emotions, health conditions, career transition, building a business, etc.? All of those things are different types of life processes, right!

Behind My Glasses.....
A year ago I was working with the youth, planning workshops, and had 10 children yelling Mrs. K for about 5 hours a day! Today I'm unable to hold a 9 to 5 due to health issues. To have that happen at what I felt was the height of my life in terms of marriage and career is disheartening to say the least. I went from planning and building my future to being uncertain about it. I'm still in the learning phases of navigating life with an illness. Sometimes my goals are set back a few days. It makes me super frustrated because I'd like to be further ahead than I am. I am horrible with myself. I do my best not to think negative but I often find myself feeling sorry. I worry tremendously about when will I accomplish my goal. I promise this post gets more positive! ☺

 Thinking the way I have is a dangerous thought pattern because it can put you into a place of depression. I have found myself thinking, "I might as well give up". Giving up meaning stop working toward this goal for a while because right now my health doesn't allow me to do what it is I need to do consistently. It's amazing how we as people can allow one problem to come up and begin to dictate the rest of our lives! How do we find ourselves in a place where we will forfeit our goals as if we don't possess the power to overcome? I know that in my mind I can see things through a very narrow and dark tunnel. I can't see past what's right there in front of me. It's like I'm no longer aware of the other things that are occurring around me. Great things, you know! So that tells me it takes awareness. Awareness of the possibilities that are available to you!

The good out of this Authentic's is that God has allowed me, especially throughout last week, to see people who have suffered like me continue to create the life they desire to live. These people had successful career paths and all of sudden those things had to change. I was able to speak to someone who has exactly the illness I'm showing symptoms for and she discussed with me how she made lemons into lemonade! I understand now that the first thing I have to do is be patient with myself. Authenticity takes that we be patient, look at our situation fit what it is and work through it.

I have to continue to LOVE myself. I have to be real....be authentic, about how I feel. I have to correct negative self talk. I have to be aware of it. When I'm aware I can nurture myself. I can re frame my thinking. I can look at life and know that yes something has come up, but it's only a detour. Detour signs take you a different route but you still end up in the same place you desired. You can also end up somewhere else after discovering along the detour a different more satisfying place.

Don't lose heart my loves! I'm not! Be authentically in tune with yourself so that you can go through the process responsibly. Don't give in to the hardship ahead. Love yourself and be patient. Don't beat yourself up about slow days. See the truth, that it's hard, that it's frustrating, that its uncomfortable.... Also see that you can change these feelings by how you think about yourself and the situation at hand. You absolutely have the power!

Until next time my loves.....

#journeytoauthenticity

#bepatient

#hidingbehindmyglasses

#youhavethepower

#goatyourownpace

Week 5: Unapologetically Who? #YouVSThem #WhoAreYouEntertaining #YOUthenticity

I'M BAAAACCCKKKK!!!!

Greetings Authentic Life Giving People!

How have you been? I took last week off. I was all over the place and needed to get some things in order, you know. I missed you all! I missed the dialogue and great feedback you share. We are into week five of the Hiding Behind my Glasses nine week series. It has been a fulfilling journey so far. I've been able to explore my world, express my views, and be heard. I needed that. I've also been able to learn more about what it means to be true to myself and my beliefs. I've gained insight into who I am at a greater level which is super awesome! I love connecting with my self. I'm growing more into the woman I believe I am. That's a GRAND OLE feeling!

I wanted to blog-versate today about living unapologetically in the midst of a company of haters, naysayers, ill-intents, and spectators!

 I believe ever since the beginning of time we've had people who have hated on others. Many have heard the bible story about Cain and Able. Jealousy lived in the heart of Cain causing him to physically harm his brother Able. I'm sure within your own family or circle of friends you have seen people hate on and mistreat others because of the green-eyed monster! It's something that we as humans are consciously able to abandon the love we have in our hearts to hold so tightly to such a dangerous emotion. Jealousy is poison.

Behind My Glasses......
Growing up I was a favorite cousin. I got along with everyone and I didn't make enemies. At least knowingly I didn't make them. As I grew up though I begin to notice people around me who didn't like me, not because I'd did anything wrong, but because of who I was. I didn't understand it then. I understand now that I have a light. It shines. I have to own that. I have to be responsible for it. I have to care for it. I have to absolutely use it in the way God designed, right!

It hasn't been that easy though. I've been attacked because of my light. There are times in my life where I've had friends who have confessed that they look to see if I've had a moment of being down. Not only do they look to see if you're down, they look to see if you'll get back up. That saying misery loves company is true. I've had people say to me that I was almost to positive, or that I was a goody two shoes! I so wish I could make this up!

I would take these things personal. In my heart I was never attempting to be better than anyone else. I was just being me. It took time to grow up and realize that nothing was wrong with me. It was the enemy in these people. It was their own insecurities that caused them to ridicule me.

I remember hiding a lot of who I was in that time. I remember censoring my thoughts and opinions. I was careful to tread lightly around others. I kept my mouth closed for fear of saying the wrong thing. I was very much so conditioned to hold back my light. I threw a lamp shade over it. In the new testament the bible talks about letting your light shine so before men.... It commands you to let no one snuff out your light.

Our light Authentic's is not made to be covered by a lamp shade. It's something about the brilliance of light that is needed in this world. Yet, I dimmed my light. So much so that I began to believe the things others said about me. I began to question myself and my own intentions. I couldn't see the brilliance that I was. I still have days where the image I see as myself is a bit intimidating. I know though who I am.

I was wounded. I had grown accustomed to the hate. I could recognize when people looked at me a certain way. I'm a very emotionally in tune person. I feel people's energy and it can absolutely drive me nuts sometimes! Due to having this keen awareness of people I judge quickly. I decide based on the weather (in the room) if I'll shine or not. I'm good at this. You can see me absolutely outspoken at one event and totally shut down at another. I'm not always one to throw myself out into situations. I'm very cautious. This behavior however doesn't serve me.

Once, while I was attending college, my professor commented on my style of writing after turning in a thought paper. She wrote on my paper that I reminded her of the late great Maya Angelou. Fireworks went off in my soul!! I can still see the brightness of the light in my mind. It was one of the most honorable and greatest compliments I'd ever been given. I was blessed and still am grateful for that deposit into my soul.

So, during a class exercise one night, the professor called out what she perceived as my uncomfortableness with receiving compliments. She stated that she noticed I didn't seem to receive them well. I never thought of people recognizing me walking around with my lamp shade on! So, I admitted in front of my peers that I took issue with that. I explained to her that I'd been surrounded by a green-eyed monster throughout my life. People don't always like me. They tend to look at me some kind of way. So my preference was to be complimented in private. To be honored in public was to be slain emotionally. I didn't yet know how to separate others thoughts and feelings from my own. For so long I had took on what others had to say.

Authentic's..... We have to simply love ourselves enough. We have to care about ourselves enough. We have to know ourselves enough. We have to be so engaged with God and ourselves that it doesn't matter what haters say! We have to own the truth that we are light. A brilliant light!
Listen, I'm in a place now where I do not want to be physically. It's like peeling my skin off it hurts so bad! I have to be here because of choices I made and I own that. I'm no victim. I am in a place where I know that I'm being watched. I'm being looked at strange and I have to be a light. Not only do I have to be a light I have to be authentic. Have you had to keep your light shining while people are watching to see how you handle it? What do you do?

You still live unapolgetically. I dare say do it even more aggressively! In my current situation, I know that I'm here because I need to face some truths. I need to grow. I'm in that dirt that I spoke of.
I'm reminded of Jesus in this moment. Think of what it would be like to be Him. To KNOW you are the savior of the world and others believe you to be a liar. People believe you to be an impostor. People hate you so much that they desire to kill you. They plan and plot your downfall. How it must be to be that person who KNOWS their intentions, who knows they do their best, who knows they love first, yet ppl still hate you, misjudge your character, and mock you publicly. Think of who you are and where you are in your life if this blog post relates to you. Can you identify with having been hated on but the call of God on your life, the purpose you feel in your heart, or the passion that drives you won't allow you to hide even though you want to duck behind the rocks!  I've been in a place where people have told a lie on me and the very people who I thought for sure knew me turned out to question who I was to. I'm grateful today that I've learned and am learning still who to strategically put or allow into my life. I'm also aware of my light. No longer hiding, even from myself, gives me the wisdom to be myself in front of anyone. I know to not take on others issues. I know and practice daily not taking others  judgment personal. It's imperative that we practice not taking things personal. It only dims our light.

Authentic's I want you to think this week on what it is about you that you should let shine but you haven't because others have attempted to dim your light. What is that great thing about you that you don't allow to come forth due to fear? Think on that and let's get authentic. Let's get to the root. Let's start to see clear through these glasses!

Until next time my dear loves......

#Unapologetic

#YouvsThem

#BeYOU

#Youthenticity

#JourneytoAuthenticity

#TellTheTruth

Vultures vs. Vulnerability #EmotionallyFit #BeYou #JourneytoAuthenticity #HidingBehindMyGlasses

Good day!

I hope that all of my readers have enjoyed their week! I hope that you have lived up to your journey to authenticity goals! I have practiced authenticity each day. It's rewarding! I've met some struggles as well. I have struggled with the attitude and actions of others. I am not the type of person to quickly address or assess a situation in which I need to speak up. I question myself. I indeed wrestle with that. So send up some prayers for me. I have to find out what it means to be authentically myself in that moment. Which brings me to my topic today, Vulnerability! I want to dissect this a little bit so the format of this post may look somewhat different than others I've written. 

Let's take a look at the definition of vulnerability. 

Per google: Vulnerability is the state of being open to injury, or appearing as if you are. It might be emotional, like admitting that you're in love with someone who might only like you as a friend, or it can be literal, like the vulnerability of a soccer goal that's unprotected by any defensive players.

I also googled vultures because the word came to me after researching the concept of vulnerability. 

Here's the definition of vultures per google: Vulture is the name given to two groups of scavenging birds of prey: the New World vultures, including the Californian and Andean condors; and the Old World vultures, including the birds that are seen scavenging on carcasses of dead animals on African plains.....

Keep up with me! I promise you an entertaining ride! 

I thought to myself when I read both definitions, "No wonder people don't want to be vulnerable!" If I thought of being vulnerable everyday as being open for injury I'd do everything I could to protect myself from being torn apart. Then there's vultures. How many of us have used the term vultures to describe a certain type of people who prey on you, who try to hurt you, or who talk about you to bring you down. We have learned that you must protect yourself from these people, these vultures, right! 

Hiding Behind My Glasses.....

When I was a young mother I was raising a sickly toddler. He had a bag of medications he had to take on a regular basis. I wasn't sure if he was responding well to one of the medications so I took matters into my own hands. I didn't give it to him as prescribed. Instead I'd give it to him as needed. During his next doctors visit they had to test his levels. They asked me had I given him the medication as prescribed based on communication before where I mentioned that it seemed the medication had negative affects on him. After discussing with them how much I thought I was giving, the doctor stated the thing I feared the most, "If this test shows that he doesn't have accurate levels based on his prescription we will call a case manager". I knew that those words meant they could suggest I've medically neglected my child. I also knew that it could mean my child could be taken from me because of that. I was worried! His father was present with me. Once I heard what the lady said I got upset. I started to cry. His father said to me, "Don't show these people your tears, that's what they want". I couldn't understand how crying for my son could allow them to do anything worse than what they already did to me. They suggested involving an agency that is known for taking children from parents. I was afraid. According to the definition above his father saw me as vulnerable, open to injury. 

I have to say now, Authentic's, I do not agree with that definition. They have the being open part correct, but when I'm emotionally open is that not being authentic? When the doctor threatened to have my child taken away and I cried, I felt that fear. I felt like it was wrong based on the fact that I was trying to help my child not harm him. I felt heart broken that someone would take my first born son away from me. It wasn't being open to injury in my brain! It was releasing a truth. The doctor could have been a vulture, someone to come eat of my body dying in the street, but I didn't see myself as a carcass. I didn't see myself as a dying animal that could no longer fend for himself. I wasn't weak at all in that moment. That was never my perception. I may have felt a bit desperate in that moment, like what can I do. They were the authority figure and in my head I didn't know how to argue with their law. However, I wasn't going to give up. I wasn't going to wait and let them eat me up! So why wasn't it okay for me to cry. 

I recall hearing people call President Obama weak. They wanted him to go to war over the crisis happening on our own soil and abroad. Never mind asking who exactly are we supposed to bomb! LOL But when he refused to go and kill people he was seen as weak. He was seen as open to injury. He was seen as vulnerable. It was amazing to me that people called him a wimp when he chose to stand down. I saw it as being true to himself. What an amazing way to be true to yourself when millions of people are looking to you for leadership! That's the way you lead! He was sure of himself. 

Authentic's, it is our duty to understand emotional vulnerability. We can't be authentic hiding behind our education, our money, our Berlin wall of defense mechanisms. We can't be REAL with others if we are denying our-self the right to feel and experience our world the way we naturally experience it. If I feel like jumping for joy when I step outside on a sunny day, but refuse to do so because others don't do it I'm not being myself. I'm hiding for fear of rejection. I read another blog this morning, forgive me because I can't recall the source, but there was a quote that fit very well with this post. "We reject ourselves.... trying to protect ourselves from others rejecting us"..... Isn't that powerful. Think of the time you said, "No! I'm not going to cry at the sound of someone beautifully singing because others aren't crying!" You just rejected your feelings so that you can fit in. I remember going out to the club when I was younger. I loved to dance and still do! I went out though with a few girls that always held up the wall. That's how i describe people who stood against the wall and would never got on the dance floor. So I would stand on the wall with them for a while. Then I would be watching them talk about the people dancing as if they could do it better. I'm just keeping it real right! LOL So yes... they would talk about the people dancing. I felt uncomfortable. I felt this urge in my gut. It's like I couldn't stand on that wall any longer. My authentic self wanted to dance the night away! My ego was holding me back because of the ladies I was with. After a while I just followed my gut. I would go dance! Why reject who I am? Why deny my soul the right to be free? Those people still stood on the wall but on occasion they would come out and dance with me. I don't know what they were worried about, but just on occasion they let go and came out to dance. Your freedom frees up others as well! I'm sure of that. 

Authentic's when you walk through the world understand that yes there are situations where you will be vulnerable such as walking out late at night by yourself. That's a situation where you are open for injury. That's physical vulnerability. That's a place where vultures will come because you are weak in that place alone. Unless you are Bruce Lee! Even he would be weak because he's alone in a place where his senses are dimmed. However, in your emotional life, people can't injure you unless what they say about you is something you are already unsure of yourself. I struggled with that very thing. Once I understood that it was something I needed to deal with inside of myself I became better. I have taken on the slogan, What you say about me is none of my business! I can't worry about what others think. I'm living my life. I'm being authentic. I'm in the practice of being me! 

Until next time my loves.....

#JourneytoAuthenticity

#BEYOU

#EmotionallyFit

#HidingBehindMyGlasses

#VulturesvsVulnerability

#GetNaked

#BeVulnerable

Week 4: When Giving Up is Good! #Surrender #JourneytoAuthenticity #HidingBehindMyGlasses

Greetings!

I'm coming to you with some good thoughts this week Authentic's! I'm in week four of a nine week series which means we are half way through. I'm grateful for those of you who have read along with me. I'm excited about the feedback I've received as well! Hearing your thoughts has really allowed me to see that others are like me. People's struggles aren't all that different from mine. It gives me more confidence to stand alone in my authenticity. Does that make sense? So I decided this week to discuss authenticity with surrender as my medium. Surrender has many definitions to choose from. Miriam-Webster online gives this definition:  to give oneself up into the power of another :  yield. I chose this definition because I think it best fits what we will be discussing in terms of authenticity.

Hiding Behind My Glasses....
The first time I met my life coach I was full of emotion. I had reached a point in my life where I felt stuck. I was expressing to her my frustration with life. I had reached a place in which I felt I was moving up to only have situations occur that slowed or completely halted my progress. Financially I was in a bind. After completing college, I graduated without my degree because I was in debt to my university. I had developed a rare illness as well. All of these things occurred at a moment in time when I expected things to begin to soar.  I had it all planned out but, life seemed to have shut the door in my face. I felt defeated but I'd never given up hope. It all sounds a bit sad right!

I practiced thinking intentionally. I practiced having faith that my circumstances would change. I practiced trust in God so that I could get what I desired. I could not for the life of me figure out what I was getting wrong. I made it a purpose to focus my thoughts on God. I kept my emotions in tact. I stayed positive. So positive that someone told me I was to positive! I never understood that criticism. That person didn't see my daily struggle. Anyway, even though I hadn't surrendered my eyes weren't opened to that fact until my life coach asked questions that guided me to see it. I indeed had not yet surrendered. I had not given up. I had not let go. I had not yielded.

In previous weeks I've discussed that being authentic includes being intentional. We have to set goals and act on the goals we set. We can't simply set the intention in our mind and then believe that the way we want life to happen will just happen. Many people see it like that. I did. I was raised in the church. I was raised to pray and ask God to handle things I felt I couldn't bear. We've heard the saying my problem is big but my God is bigger right! I was raised to believe in ancient miracles. The bible story of Moses and the Israelite's was repeatedly told during church services as a guide to having faith. Somehow with nothing the children of Israel were fed, clothed, and had shelter all the while wondering in the wilderness for 40 years. I had to surrender this thinking. I had to give it up. Why did I have to surrender this thinking? It no longer served me. I was asking God what's next and waiting for my next move. Waiting for a premonition, a special thought, or a sign that let me know what to do. I waited. It worked for the Israelite's! For Sharhonda here in the 21st century it wasn't working. I had to release that line of thinking. I had to surrender many other thoughts that caused me to be stuck. I am happy I surrendered!

In the same fashion that my thoughts limited me from moving forward in my professional life they hindered me in my personal development. The ways that I handled my past issues no longer served me. Having worked on these things for so long without a clear solution, I was repeating the same behaviors over and over again. I was repeating them even when I did not desire to. I didn't have a clear view on how to progress. I thought in many ways I was progressing. It often takes for someone who has carved their way through past hurts and hang ups to help you see where you are getting stuck. They found the pathway through and they can do the same for you.

Authentic's when we think of surrender as the Miriam-Webster dictionary suggest we think of giving up to a certain power. In war when one surrenders they give up their power to another greater than themselves. When I decided to surrender, the power I was surrendering to was Self! The Authentic Self. I had worked on myself most of my adult life to get over my past hurts. I caged authentic self in so that she was protected. I wanted to be safe. I had a valid reason to protect myself based on past experiences. However the protection I used was like putting myself behind the Berlin wall within a cement cell with padded walls and bars to complete the look! I threw away the key. People couldn't reach me. The dangerous part was I couldn't be myself. When I couldn't be myself I displayed behavior that was against SELF. Thank God self is powerful enough to keep showing up even when we attempt to cage it behind the Berlin Wall in cement!! I hope you are following me my loves. We have to surrender whatever is keeping us from being authentic!

I love who I'm becoming. I love who I am. I haven't been able to say that with so much confidence in the past. I used to be so down on myself because I felt that I wasn't measuring up. In so many ways I wasn't. I didn't allow Self to shine then. Now I am in the business of letting her out. I'm in the business of speaking my mind. I'm in the business of being vulnerable. I am in the business of showing my spiritually connected, loving, silly, artistic, poetic, gorgeous smiley-face, ambitious, awesometastic, uniquely weird Self! WHOOOP WHOOOP!!!! :) :) :) That's freedom!

Surrender. Giving Up. Giving up is a good thing when you let go of things that no longer serve who you are. Giving up. Surrendering. Letting Go. These things, when it leads to you and I being closer to our true selves, create for us a productive life. Once I surrendered my disastrous defense mechanism I didn't search for freedom but I experienced it. When I let go, I took charge and initiated change in my life. When I surrendered I began to take greater action to secure the future I desired. I see surrender working in my life. What thoughts, actions,beliefs do you need to surrender today so that you can live more freely? So that you can be your authentic self.. Join the Journey to Authenticity!

Until next time my loves.....

#JourneytoAuthenticity 

#HidingBehindMyGlasses 

#Surrender #GiveUp #LetGo 

Show Up in the World! #Journeytoauthenticity #HidingBehindMyGlasses #BeingYou

Hello Authentic's!

I have had an interesting week! I hope that yours was amazing as well.
For the last post in week 3 I wanted to finish out the theme of Being You by discussing how I've showed up in the world. I wanted to share with you all my moments of authenticity. What I've gathered aren't necessarily moments concerning how I've interacted with others but they are moments when I was most in tune with myself. I'm sharing moments where I was totally myself and loving it. I would like for you to share moments with me where you felt authentic and in tune as well. There's no time in my life since childhood where I've felt more true to myself. I'm embracing who I am in its fullness and I'm learning to be okay with that. Opinions of others have often shaped how we respond in our world. Through this journey what has stuck out to me the most is how I've listened to so many outside voices that I've allowed my own voice to become a whisper. My voice has become the child in the back of the class whose often overlooked. I allowed it because I thought life was supposed to be a certain way. My weirdness, I thought, shouldn't be displayed, therefore I silenced it as much as I could. However, when I act from my soul I am my most authentic self. I aim to continue flowing from my soul, from my most inner self. It feels natural. I have less anxiety. I also have more fun!

Hiding Behind My Glasses...
Often times the silly, weird, funny, simple but wise person I am I withhold until someone might need it. I wait for permission from others to be myself. I wait to see if it's acceptable to open up my personality box. For several reasons I just held back the beauty and uniqueness of who I am. I'm deciding each day to live more from my soul. My life coach has always said that people are looking for me but they can't find me because I've been hiding. Well my dear people I'm doing my best to open up. I want to be my authentic self. I want you to find me. I do have things you need. I know that I do.So I want to touch on three authentic moments that I had this week. Three moments in which I was just being Sharhonda without thought or concern of who was paying attention.

The first moment was when my husband said, black coffee. I don't know why he said it. He and my sons were having a conversation and I overheard. When I heard black coffee my mind went to a song I hadn't heard in years. It was a song the rapper Heavy D, God rest his soul, used to have out in the late 80's. I was all of about 9 or 10 years old. I felt like I wanted to dance. I wanted to feel that happiness. So I said you know what I'm going to play that song! I found the video on YouTube. When it played it brought a smile on my face. I am smiling even now. I know that I was being true to myself. I do things like that. When people say phrases in everyday conversation I can link it to a movie, or song I've heard. Not only do I link it but I may act it out, or sing! If it's a fun memory I have to embrace it and have fun in that moment. A quick jam out session and I'm good! LOL I just love being me.

The 2nd moment I lived in my most authentic space was a little deeper. I was sitting on the couch watching my son take out the trash. While I was watching him another guy was carrying two bags of trash out to the dumpster as well. I was just sitting and staring. I got lost in thought. I wondered what meaning lies behind the typical role of the woman cleaning the house and throwing the trash away while the man carries the trash outside to the dumpster? I never got to the part where I contemplated what meaning could lie behind it but I will one day. I think it'll come back to me or I'll sit and search it out when my mind reaches a quiet place. I'll find some way that it relates to the world. I'm sure that one day when I'm talking to someone offering them advice this metaphor will come up. I'm sure that I'll be able to offer wisdom that will click into the mind of someone who needed it. I'm sure this will happen because I've experienced this before. I don't know when but I'm positive it will. I'm excited about it! I get to live in a moment where I feel God uses me to bring freedom to someone else. That's magic!

My third experience is when I babysat my 4 year old niece. I love children. Children are full of life. They are so curious and adventurous. Children show us a part of the world that we have forgotten. I believe that I may live through them in so many ways. I won't go build a recreation park to play with them all day, but when I spend time with them I'm very intentional. So I'm spending the day with my niece while her mom is working. She just had a birthday and a balloon is floating around the house. I start bouncing the balloon to her. We play for at least 30 minutes bouncing the balloon back and forth. She could have went for hours. If I count it all up she probably did do that off and on for hours. She bounced around with the most genuine smile. Her eyes lit up like lights. She was having a great time. I see her jumping on the bed and go back to a moment in time when we had no worries. A moment in time when jumping on the bed was all we cared about. There were no before or after thoughts. We just jumped on the bed. That was the only thought occupying space in our mind. The only other thing that was present was the happiness and joy that we experienced. AHHHH I can feel that joy! The moment I enjoyed the most is when I told her I needed to take a rest. I kneel on the floor and put my head down on the edge of the bed. She sat down by my head. It's quiet for a few seconds then her voice pierces the air, "Aunt Ronna.."  I say, "Yes KK.." She then proceeds to look through my hair. She says, "Aunt Ronna, that's my hair bow on your hair!" I asked as if I had no idea, "Is it?" "Yes, Aunt Ronna." She starts feeling for the hair bow so that she can take it out of my hair. I hold my head down so she can take it out. In my authenticity I watched her be a little woman. I saw her take charge of a situation. I didn't bother her. I didn't attempt to exert control over her. I didn't fight with her and make her cry about wanting a hair bow that I knew was hers. I needed a hair bow. I needed one to hold my pony tail in place but my soul wanted to experience the wonder of a four year old living in her own power. I wanted to experience what it was like for a little person to take control. So I said to myself what is she going to do once she gets the hair bow. I started to help her. I had trouble so she says, "I got it Aunt Ronna". LOL It just tickles me. I knew as an adult I could at any moment refuse to allow her to take the hair bow out. After all I did need it, but I chose not to. I wanted her to live in her moment. I finally got the hair bow off. She takes it from me. I felt small. LOL I felt like I just let a little kid take my hair bow from me. I just let a four year old boss me around. My ego was seriously hurting for a second. I had a moment when I said why does it even matter? I know now that it's because I've been conditioned to exert control over children. She has such a free and confident spirit. You have to be around the little person. She's been here before as the old folks say. She has to be like 30 years old in the spirit! LOL So yes I watched her to see what she would do once she got the hair bow out of my hair. She confidently walked over to her mothers dresser, opened the drawer, and placed the hair bow in the drawer. I loved it! I was too tickled! I was like look at the responsibility of a four year old. After she jacked my hair bow that's actually hers, she came back with the balloon and was ready to play with me again. I learned something in that moment. When we put our egos in check there's no fighting, and we can resume life as normal. We can use this situation in so many different settings in life. We don't have to use control just because we realize we have it. We don't. Not many people are ready for that level of vulnerability in life. I understand it. I'm not always ready either.

Those are my authentic moments. As I type I question who will judge my actions. Especially with my niece. People may say that a child shouldn't respond to an adult like that. I know where I was raised there were certain lines you didn't cross with adults. I like to go against the grain though. I know what its like to feel like a caged bird, having a beautiful song but only singing within the cage. I don't put all of those limits on children. They are the purest form of freedom.

 I wanted to come to you in the most genuine way that I could to end this theme of Being You. Share your story with me. Let me know how you live in your most authentic moments. What feels good to you? I'm signing off my loves! Pursue happiness. Love yourself as yourself. Do have a marvelous time while living this life! You only get one that we know about. Live it being you!

Until next week.........

#BeingYou

#HidingBehindMyGlasses

#JourneytoAuthenticity

#GettingNaked

#LIVE

#SHOWUP

So they talked about you, now what?? #JourneytoAuthenticity #GetNaked

Hi Authentic's!

We all have been talked about at one time or another right! At some time in our lives someone has had something to say about us whether it was good or bad. I believe as well that those comments either made us or broke us. Compliments or criticism can affect how you move through life but only with your permission.

Hiding Behind My Glasses.....
When people talk about me I take it personal and it can affect my mood and response even if it's positive feedback. I wanted to tackle this subject because when people have something to say about me, I am so concerned with it that it changes the way I look at myself. It causes me to take personal inventory. I get upset because I don't want others to see me in a negative light. Being this way creates a barrier to authenticity. If I am truly growing in this realm of authenticity then I'd have to admit that when I pay attention to what others say about me, good or bad, I measure myself against it. It's sad. Many people will not look within themselves and admit that. Yet, I know that its true for many others.
 I remember growing up and wanting an A+ all of the time. I was a smart kid. I never thought of myself as dumb. I never have. I received great grades in school. When I was in middle school I moved and that moved took me out of my comfort zone. I was introduced to a different culture. I was in the city now instead of the country. I wasn't used to the fast paced life. When i started my new school I was stared at, I was asked several questions, and I remember being looked at from head to toe. I remember being talked about and laughed at. I was laughed at so much by a particular guy that I only sat at the front of the bus to protect myself from additional humiliation. During this time I went from being at the top of my class with several awards to being the below average ugly girl with nappy hair. I begin to fail. I refused to go to school because I was afraid of what would be said about me. More than that I was afraid that I was that girl. So what did I do? I avoided it as much as possible. I hid who i was. I also his from the mean words directed toward me. I tucked my head in like a turtle. I didn't want to face the world. Becoming the turtle only understood to hide inside my hard shell until danger passed. Like the title i moved slowly and cautiously through life. I hid who I was because who I was continued to  constantly be under attack.
Much to my pleasure, I was able to go back to my former school the next year. However, I'd already been bruised. I'd already had the weight of what the bully's insecurities and fear attached to my psyche. I carried it around like it was something I was born with and couldn't get rid of. It had note become apart of me. I begin to act as if I was the sum of what the bully added me up to be. To have someone talk so negatively about me without even knowing me caused me to sink instead of swim. Due to having gained such a negative image of myself I hid my talents. I refused to show others that I was smart. Even up until my 30's I would not show my college mates that I was smart. I remained quiet.
I can remember having a test in one of my college courses. Everyone was struggling on it. I finished first! The professor decided to grade the test while everyone was still in class. I was the only one to ace it. He then stepped out of the room. The other classmates were like WHAT??? Why didn't you tell us you understood this stuff. I felt like a fraud. I felt like I'd done them a disservice. I didn't have to share anything with them but at the core I did want to get more involved with them. I didn't mind helping my peers with understanding the subject matter because I'm the kind of person who wants us all to get ahead. What I'm getting at is, had I not allowed the words of others to get into my head and stay there I could have been who I was without fear.

Authentic's it makes a difference how we perceive others actions toward us. I heard my life coach say recently that it doesn't matter to her whether people say good things or bad things about her because she knows who she is. If people say good things, it adds nothing and if people say bad things it doesn't add or take anything away. That's the perception and concept I'm practicing going forward in my life. This concept allows you to be you in the fullness of God's creativity. It allows you to be your God-breathed self without apology. When you are simply being you and you're sure of YOU then what people say about you has no bearing. It carries no weight. It doesn't stick. It won't break your spirit. It can't because the fortress you built is undeniably the best fortress you could have ever made for yourself. It's the strongest in the world. Surrounded by the best of the best. Armor and Angels!
God's top flight security!

My goal is to live authentically everyday without apologizing for who I am. How do you survive each day being you? We don't worry about what others have to say. We don't concern ourselves with their ill words. We are appreciative of their kind ones but we'll be who we are before and after their kind words are said. We will always be. It's who God made us. No man can change that. It's a done deal. So be sure of yourself. Let the person who's doing all the talking stay in their lane and you continue to advance in yours!

Until next time my loves....

#JourneytoAuthenticity

#HidingBehindMyGlasses

#GettingNaked

#BeYou

#YouInspireMe

#AuthenticLiving

Week 3: Don't Be Ashamed! #JourneytoAuthenticity #HidingBehindMyGlasses #GetNaked #YouInspireMe

How are you gorgeous people? I hope that you are well! After Christmas break I was happy to get some free time from my kids. It was great to be alone for a few hours. I'm excited about continuing on in the theme of Being You! I had been thinking on and off for a few days about what to write. Believe it or not I was inspired while putting on my compression socks. Yes Lawd! I wear compression socks! Talk about #GettingNaked!
While putting on my compression socks I noticed they had a few specks of grass stuck in them. I'm such a country girl. As a little girl growing up I walked outside barefoot or in my socks. Of course my grandparents had a lot to say about the dirty socks I brought back in the house, especially with white socks turning to beige! Lol At present I still prefer socks or bare feet rather than shoes any day!
So while putting them on I thought to myself, "here I am cleaning off dirt from a place where I used to walk." I started to think of who could see the specks of grass. Even while writing this blog I thought of how people would think of me because I had a sock with dirt on it that I was putting on before bed! Yet while putting on that sock and pulling off those grass specks, the Spirit revealed to me that I should not be ashamed. Why not be ashamed? I shouldn't be ashamed because the grass specks were only evidence of where I'd been. It was a testament to what I'd walked through, nothing more. What I saw as dirt, God saw as a testimony. If someone saw that dirt, they would then have to ask me why it was there and I'd have to tell them how I came from that old place to the new! I would have to explain my dirt. *Smiles*

Hiding Behind My Glasses..... with my nieces wings on!! ☺☺
Dirt. We always wash it off. When my son was a toddler he was such a neat freak. Dirt was like slime to him. His hands would get dirty and he'd cry to have them washed. I tried to show him the joy of playing in the dirt but he was not having it. He was to young to register it then, but as he got older I had a lot of washing to do because dirt became a great friend of his! We shun dirt. We embrace cleanliness. It's like always rejecting things we consider failure and only accepting what we perceive as perfect. A great example is depression. For many years I had been fighting depression. I hid the fact that I was fighting it. I did my best to appear happy before others. To be unhappy was failure. To be perfectly sad and dreadful was not a good look, as we say. So I was continuously looking for ways to not be sad. I took medications, read books, and talked to therapist attempting to heal depression. I wanted to get out of that imperfect state. What I and others didn't explore was what was depressions reason for showing up in my life at that moment. Why was I experiencing this perhaps imperfect moment? I didn't realize that in that moment depression could serve me. I was ashamed of it and couldn't find the lesson that it taught me. It was dirt. Depression was something I wanted to wash off as soon as it touched me. I didn't see the jewels that it held within and for many years I couldn't find those jewels because I was attempting to wash off that dirt.

Dirt. It serves many purposes. Even microbial dirt. Underneath a microscope you find bacteria that we'd wash off in a heartbeat, but thank God some of it we can't see because it protects us. My grandmother was a gardener. She grew her own vegetables. I remember playing in the garden with her and seeing the different types of dirt. I saw her till the ground. Some dirt was super soft and nice to feel in your hands. Then there was hard dirt that wouldn't grow anything in it. That dirt grandma would break open with a ho until she got deeper into the ground where the softer dirt existed. Had grandma just looked at the rough dirt and kept moving she wouldn't have found the jewel underneath. In certain situations dirt is needed.  It's our job to understand what the different types of soil mean, yet as we go about our lives everyday we don't examine our dirt. We only see at as something that must be washed off. I know many of you reading my intro paragraph said how is she putting on a stocking that's dirty! Truth is I washed it but the smaller specks of grass didn't want to let go. Many of us would say well it's time to throw it away and by a brand new stocking. A stocking that's not dirty. If we look at this from a metaphorical standpoint is there a need to really throw the stocking away? Does dirt ruin the sock? Does it stop the sock from doing what it was created to do? I thought to myself while putting the sock on and pulling some of the little specks off, "The stocking still does what it's meant to do whether the specks are on there or not". Dirt has it's purpose and we shouldn't be ashamed of it. Dirt in many circumstances shows us who we are, it shows us what needs our attention in life, and most of all it is fertile ground for growth. Look at nature. Trees, plants, flowers, all of these beautiful and useful things come from the ground. Nature is not ashamed and the earth from which they came serves its purpose.

Authentic's, in our everyday lives let's not be afraid to share our story. Let's not be afraid of who we used to be. Who we used to be has purpose. It has it's reason for being. It's soil and not only that, look at how we've grown. Look at how we noticed the soil we were planted in and used it to grow into the AWESOMETASTIC people we are today! Love you as you are. Be you and Don't be ashamed of it.

Until tomorrow my loves.....

#JournetytoAuthenticity

#GettingNaked

#BEYOU

#HidingBehindMyGlasses

#YouInspireMe

#ILoveMe

Be You No Matter What! #Journeytoauthenticity #Keepingitreal #HidingBehindMyGlasses

Authentic's it's the new year!!! It's 2016! It's being called SWEET 16 on social media because many of us are looking forward to it being really sweet! How did you bring in your new year? My family and I visited family and brought in the new year with the kiddies! It was peaceful. It was a little awkward because we haven't spent much time with this particular family member. It's like getting to know someone for the first time. It was still great though. We laughed, talked, watched the ball drop, and even toasted with some white grape sparkling cider! An experience that I felt was instrumental in the way we desire our lives to go in 2016 and beyond. So lets get to it Authentic's!

Hiding Behind My Glasses.....
I was whisked away into my thoughts the other day while riding on some back country roads with my husband and kids. I was thinking of authenticity and what does it mean to be yourself. I was thinking of who I was when no one was watching. What do I find myself reveling in when no one is interrupting my thought process? I drifted off into memories of when I was a child. I felt those times were the most pure. I hadn't been adulterated with others opinions. I didn't understand society's norms. I didn't have any idea that anything I did was unacceptable socially. I was just doing what came natural to me. I remembered my grandmothers house. I grew up there up until I was a teenager. I thought of how hard I always said my life was growing up because of the difficult circumstances I had endured, however when I got to the bottom of things I discovered the beauty I had enjoyed too.
I remembered how much I connected with and enjoyed nature. How the grass felt cool, soft, and almost like fine fabric against my skin. I recalled how I'd sit in the grass with ladybugs crawling on my legs and grasshoppers jumping around me. I could smell the sweetness of the plum tree I used to sit in the backyard while grandma worked in the garden. I felt the warmth of the sunshine as I played in the backyard with my imaginary friends. I would escape into a world unknown. I disappeared into fantasy land filled with tall evergreen trees and hills of grass for miles to see. I lived in this world and nothing else existed until grandma called  for me to come in for the evening. I enjoyed laying under the pecan tree watching the spider climb down the railing. I watched the birds come to the bird bath drinking the water or fighting over it! Lol I never understood birds fighting but as a part of nature every species does it. Life was simple. It was as I walked in the garden of Eden and God was there. I couldn't see him but I felt his presence. I ate from grandma's apple tree even though I didn't like the small apples that much. I was always scared there would be a worm peeping through at me. I was being me. I was lost in the wonder of the world. I watched the world happen around me and I was intrigued, intoxicated, and amazed by it. I was afraid of it and in love with it all at the same time. The whole huge big earth was right in my backyard. God was to.

Today I often leave that young girl at the door. I forget her and I don't allow her to be free. I hide behind my glasses. I don't give her a right to just be. Why do I hide her? I think because the world is mean. I think because people judge. I think because she's different. She sees the world different and people don't understand her. I think because it's easier fitting in with the crowd than to blaze your own trail! #GettingNaked It's easier of course to walk the trail already blazed. It's wider. Many people can fit on it. You have several people to go with you, to share with you, and to be just like you. It eliminates the possible alienation of being different than all of the rest, right. It's the road most traveled. It's also the road with the least authenticity.

As I've grown what I've found though is artist are a unique breed. People who dare love themselves as they are are a prized possession. They are the best wine. What I'm getting at Authentic's is that people like me and you exist, we are special, different, and it's okay. You are beautiful. You are spiritually connected in a way that sets you apart from others. I used to think that I was such a rarity. I thought that people like me live somewhere in New York or Italy. They are a world away from me and I have no idea how I would be able to find them. I am quite a different pickle. I know that I think, feel, see the world different than the people I'm around. I'm the kind of girl who won't read the same book twice unless it's something in a self help book I need to remind myself of. I'm not the person who wants to get all of the catch phrases; I would rather create my own. That's me being me. In the crowd though I'll repeat the catch phrases. By default I'm meshing with the crowd.

Being yourself is a stripping of ego. It's a letting go of what mom, daddy, and sister nem think. I remember a time I let someone take away a part of who I was. I was a very outspoken teenager. I remember the day someone said to me, "You just anything you want to say"...... with a scowl covering their face. They said it with the indication that I should shut up and I did. I stopped being so outspoken. This person made such an impact that I found myself being silent where it counted. I needed to say when things were wrong but around this person I kept quiet. I saw it as what I was doing caused me to make other uncomfortable. It made me the least likely to be voted class president type of person. I didn't want to be rejected so I shut up. The truth of that situation was not that I should be quiet but that the person didn't want to grow. If people are comfortable and have no desire to grow up out of unproductive situations they will attempt to tear you down so that they can remain comfortable. It's survival so I get it. I also get if people do this in order for their survival you have to do what's necessary for your survival. So of course you know being quiet didn't serve me. I'd been doing what made others feel good. I was living for everyone else instead of living from my most holy and sacred place. I wasn't honoring God nor myself. I wasn't being me.
 Something else I learned that sticks with me is that if you aren't showing up authentic in the world, the people who are looking for you can't find you because you aren't showing up as yourself. Give that some thought Authentic's. Take time out to love who you are at your core, not who you are trying to be for others!

Signing off...

#BEYOU

#HidingBehindMyGlasses

#JournetytoAuthenticity

#GetNaked

#YouInspireMe